Topic

My next tale concerns the same car, the afore mentioned Standard I0 again.

I had just successfully completed a colour transformation from two tone faded blue/ lighter faded grey to stunning black with the aid of a tin of Dulux gloss black and a 2" brush. I removed the front bumper and substituted a painted open mouth in Dulux red gloss.

After waiting for the paint to harden I gave the wheels a good wash, so that the chrome wheel trims shone like the sun. After admiring my handiwork I jumped in and set off to show the world my beautiful creation; and noticed the admiring glances(could have been shock or stunned amazement) as I trundled up to the first T junction.

As I pressed the brakes nothing happened!

With my foot trying to force the brake pedal through the floor, I continued to approach the main road at undiminished speed! In panic, I threw the car left around the junction and slowed by mounting the pavement and ramming my offside wheels against the kerb. Fortunately there was nothing coming down the main road, nor were there any pedestrians on the pavement I now straddled... Or under the car... I checked!

An important lesson learned - that drum brakes need to be thoroughly dried out before venturing far on the highway. Something that more modern disc brakes has made us forget, I suspect.

After every ford or flooded road, they used to have signs displayed- NOW DRY YOUR BRAKES!

An idiot mate of mine substituted a .22 cal bullet (live) in place of a glass headlight fuse that kept blowing!
A brilliant idea considering the fuse box was located under the dash right above his meat & two veg!
He's lucky it didn't go off, mind you with out a gun barrel to focus the blast it would be unlikely to cause serious injury, but would probably make your eyes water.

I recall once driving a Ford Zephyr for a friend from A to B. There were no seats in the car and I was sat on a wooden beer crate. Braking was difficult as pressing on the pedal tended to push me backwards off the perch!

I'm sorry, but it's slapdash workmanship to put a piece of silver paper in place of the fuse...the correct procedure is to wrap the blown fuse in silver paper before replacing it in the holder !


I'm sure I can't be the only one to have manually operated the wipers with a loop of string going through the two front windows. (on a BL1300)

I'm older than Methuselah but when I was a kid, went on holiday with my Mum and Dad to Rhyl....(nothing wrong with that then LOL) for a day out we went to Anglesey in my Dads old Hillman Minx on the way back it poured down my Dad switched on the wipers but nothing happened he got out had a check around but couldn't find anything but the good old minx had this big knob on the dashboard that turned the wipers so there was me sitting in the foot well turning this blinkin knob back and forward with my right arm .....every now and then my Dad would shout faster faster...........when I have a pint to this day I use my left arm, I swear that journey from Anglesey to Rhyl is the reason my right arm has never been the same.....LOL LOL

Many years ago & after an operation I was forbidden to drive for a month & as we were going on holiday, my wife, who was still learning to drive, took over the driving seat. As we couldn’t use motorways we took to A & B roads & whilst doing a quick left / right, there was a grinding from the gearbox. Assuming it to be the ineptitude of the learner, I had a good grouch; “that’s not me” & she did it again at the next junction & it wasn’t. It transpired that second gear had buggered off. During that first week my wife learned how to cope without second, have to grind it into reverse, double declutching up & down & so when we lost third at the beginning of the second week it wasn’t too desperate. Rev the balls off, throw it into top & judder up to cruising speed. She was due for her test when we got home & sailed through & until she relinquished her licence due to glaucoma, she was the only woman driver I was totally relaxed with whilst in the passenger seat.

drove loads of different pick up trucks up and down the country for years......most of them were clapped out due to the heavy loads...(hgv engines).....which were carried on them day in day out.....no tacho then meant very long hours out there.....they hardly ever got scratched body wise......one day my boss said ive bought a brand new pickup.....jump in my car were off to fetch it...........wow i thought has i drove home in it that night....brand new.....never seen the like of it before.........one week lapsed and in that time it felt every tom dick and harry was trying to ram me at junctions.........i arrived home and i reversed into the drive like id done a million times before...... i turned my head to the left to view the passenger mirror and then a almighty crunch and my hedge was where my drivers door should be.......the door had opened and the force of the hedge and gate post had wrenched it forward....it was bent so badly i could only pull it back halfway open...
i took it to work earlier than normal to avoid any confrontation with rush hour traffic....while driving i realised it was more dodgy than i thought and i had to hold the door forward so it wasnt in contact with on coming cars........everyone flashed there lights....pedestrians running towards the truck has i slowed for the lights........your doors open mate...........@*** oFF i thought..........dont state the bloody obvious...........
i arrived work that morning the boss greeted me........nice posh new truck hey!.........you can work the rest of the story out for yourselves.........he wasnt happy

Driving an “undriveable” Series Land Rover for the best part of three months whilst I saved up for the parts.

Running out of brakes in Warrington & cadging the kit to sort them out before carrying on. A delay of about 45mins.

series landrovers......in a nutshell fantastic.......i spent hours brushing waxoyl on my chassis....i took the floor panels out and the gearbox tunnel......i brushed away for hours and then realised i was late for a appointment......the floor panels were standing upright by the garage with a fresh coat of hammerite on them so i left without them....balancing my feet on the peddles like id never done before..........seeing the ground rush past under my feet and the gearbox screaming like a banshee was scary....its times like these when you realise the floor in a car is a safety factor ........i could of stood inside with my feet on the road like fred flintstone.

I lost a bag of tools by playing the floor out caper.

Snapped both hinges off the drivers door on an A40 in a gale. Tacked it on till I found replacements, getting in & out through the window.

Airportable wrote: wrote:

Snapped both hinges off the drivers door on an A40 in a gale. Tacked it on till I found replacements, getting in & out through the window.

climbing out of the windows like the duke boys in the general lee...lol